


Different this Time

by AlexTheShipper



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Past Rape/Non-con, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: There's a lot of things in the show that make Kitty uncomfortable. Lines she says, lines the others say, her outfit, their hands on her skin. Just to name a few. But it's different now right?
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Anne of Cleves & Katherine Howard, Catherine of Aragon & Katherine Howard, Katherine Howard & Catherine Parr, Katherine Howard & Jane Seymour
Comments: 7
Kudos: 127





	Different this Time

Truthfully if Kitty Howard was being honest with herself, she hated the show. Not all of it, but parts. 

It hurt to regularly hear the others refer to her as the least relevant Cathrine. To have them belittle her story. Of course it's all part of the act though, nothing to lose sleep over.

"Oh, yeah I still don't care?" Anne's voice shouldn't haunt her dreams. It's not like she's the only one they make fun of, although she is the only one mocked before her song even begins. 

"Being manipulated by men and paying the price." As if the abuse she suffered from childhood was so easily washed away. As if none of it mattered. As if it was somehow the same as the others experiences. 

It wasn't just the comments from the others even her own script made her uncomfortable. After all she refers to her own rape as promiscuity within the opening song. Had to sing it like it's something fun and not the worst thing that ever happened to her. 

All while prancing around on a stage in heels wearing clothing that shows so much skin she can feel men's gazes burning into her until it makes her want to be sick. 

But, the queens are different right? 

They care about her. Right? 

Things are different now. 

"To be ridiculed for your looks, that must be so hard can't relate." The words burn on her tongue, belittling both Anna's pain and her own. As if she wanted to be someone men were attracted to. As if she wanted to be taken advantage of. 

"And I was thirteen going on thirty." She growls and she wants to spit the words. She was thirteen period, not thirty. She wasn't ready for anything like that. She didn't want it. 

She could feel the other queen's hands on her skin, touching her in places the costume didn't cover and she wanted to run, hide, throw up. She didn't want it. 

"Gets what he wants and won't take no." She said no though, what about what she wants. She doesn't want this. 

She gets through the show, smiles at the crowd, bounces around the stage.  
The moment lights go down she's in her dressing room tearing off her costume and pulling on some baggy clothes. 

"What are you doing?" Anne asks, laughing. "We can't change now, we still have to meet and greet." 

"No." Kitty says, and her voice breaks on it. Anne doesn't notice. 

"C'mon we gotta go, put your costume back on." Anne gestures to it and Kitty is shaking. 

"No." Her voice is weak, she feels to afraid. "I don't want to." 

"Well you have to that's the job." Anne says, and there's Francis whispering in her ear. 

"I don't want to wear that anymore!" She says, and there are tears building in her eyes. "Please don't make me put it on, and go out there with all those people. Please. I don't wanna be looked at like that. Touched." She's shaking now, she can't help it. 

"Fuck Kitty." Anne freezes like a deer in the headlights, and suddenly it becomes clear she's crying. 

"It shouldn't matter anyways, least relevant Cathrine and all that. Right Anne? You guys can do the greet without me." She rubs at her eyes, missing the stricken look on Anne's face. 

"You know that's not true right? It's just a line in the show. I don't mean it." Anne says, and she sounds scared. Ha, scared of little kitty Howard. 

"Yeah, just a line in the show. Just another joke about my history." She shrugs, trying to seem like she doesn't care even as tears stream down her face. "Not like that's the worst comment in the show." 

"What's the worst one?" Anne asks, and Kitty stares at her reflection singing quietly. 

"For my promiscuity outside of wed,  
Lock up your husband's,   
Lock up your son's,   
Kay Howard is here and the fun's begun." She sings and it's a little mangled by the way her throat closes when she cries. 

"Kitty." Anne says, and then nothing else. 

"It wasn't fun you know." Kitty says, climbing to her feet. "I died at 19 and I'd already been raped repeatedly by 4 different men." 

"What's going on here?" Jane asks, hesitating in the doorway. 

"It wasn't fun." Kitty repeats, shaking her head as if to clear it. She wants to go home, but it's a far walk. "I don't like being in the show. Go do the meet and greet I'll be here when you're done." 

"Cathrine Howard if you think for one minute I'm leaving you alone right now you are out of your mind." Anne scolds and then she's right there. "Can I hug you?" 

"I think I've been touched by erveryone enough today." Kitty mumbles, and it's harsh. She agreed to the script, agreed to the choreography, it's not their fault she hates it with every fiber of her being. 

"Fuck." Jane whispers. "I'm gonna get the others and then we're going home. No greet today." 

"What?" Kitty looks up startled. "We have to do the greet." 

"No, we don't. You don't have to do anything you don't want to Kitty." Anne promises. 

"Even if I don't wanna do the show anymore?" She asks, and Anne nods. Kitty isn't sure when she wound up on the dressing room floor. Hadn't even realized she was there until Anne sat down beside her. 

"Even then. All we need is Six right?" Anne asks, and barely a moment later they're joined by Cathy, Cathrine, Jane, and Anna. 

"Are you okay Kitty?" Anna asks, dropping to the floor with them. The others not far behind. 

"Not really." She admits, voice still quiet. "I don't like the show." It feels like she shouldn't be allowed to say it. 

"Is it something we can change? Or do you just not like preforming?" Cathy asks, and they're all looking at her with concern. 

"I don't like being the least relevant Cathrine." She doesn't watch as the others flinch. Just stares at her feet. "I hate how revealing my outfit is. I hate that I brag about my promiscuity as if I consented to anything that happened to me." She's gearing up now, everything just flowing out. "I hate the comment I make about Anna's looks, as if what happened to her was funny or any good ever came out of mine." She gestures towards the queen in question. "I hate the feel of your hands on my skin when I'm singing about them." She's breathing heavily, tears flowing freely down her face." 

"Kitty." Jane whispers, concern heavy in her voice. 

"Most of all." She says, quieter now. "I hate feeling like you all don't care about my story. The show makes me feel the way they did." 

"Kitty we don't mean any of that stuff." Anne says, but it rings hollow in the air. It doesn't matter if they mean it, they're hurting her. 

"It's just easy to mock my history. I know." She shrugs a shoulder. She wants to seem like it's no big deal. 

"No." Cathy says, and she looks up. "No." Kitty smiles darkly at her. 

"I've said that before." She says, and it hurts. 

"You don't have to preform ever again." Cathrine promises, and Kitty shrugs. 

"What gonna rename the show Five?" She asks, scoffs at the idea. 

"Gonna have to rename it Four I'm not comfortable with the things I've said in this show." Anne says, and Kitty definitely wasn't expecting that. 

"Three." Anna says. "If you're out in with you." 

"Two." Cathy and Jane say at the same time. 

"I'm definitely not doing a one woman show, especially not one that's hurting one of us. let's just admit the shows cancelled." 

"Huh, this really is different." Kitty whispers, and when she looks up there are tears in the others eyes. "Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> I love the show so much, but I do believe there's a lot of things in Kathrine Howard's part that could make a trauma survivor uncomfortable.


End file.
